Deconstructing Jamie

What it truly means to be a teacher

Tue, 07 May 2013 07:55:09 -0700

I haven’t posted in nearly 2 years. But after a few stressful weeks at work, I was inspired to write this when I got home today.

I read about teaching constantly in the news, and it doesn’t seem to reflect what I experience each day. It’s been increasingly frustrating to me. While it’s very difficult to express in words what a teacher’s day is like, I gave it an honest shot here (warning: there is a little bit of profanity).

What it truly means to be a teacher

12:45pm. I am teaching a 7th period class; we are focusing on the costs and benefits of British rule in India. The students are working on a t-chart on their own, referencing a textbook.

A girl in the front looks upset. Her eyes are glassy. She is finished the assignment far before the others because her reading level is on grade level while many of the students in the same class are still struggling at grammar-school reading levels (I teach 10th grade). She is drawing circles on her paper.

I know she was supposed to audition for the X-Factor, a TV show, yesterday; she had been excited about it for months. I heard through the grapevine that her dad wouldn’t let her go. I kneeled down. “Are you okay?”

Another student shouts from a few rows over: “Ms. D, I need you to show me my grade.” (Yesterday, as I tried to get him to start his work, he told me to shut the fuck up.)

I ignored him for a moment to see if he would notice I am mid-conversation with another student. She nods and says, “I’m fine” unconvincingly.

Again- “My grade Ms. D, I need to see my grade.”

“I’ll show you your grade after class- I’m trying to talk to another student right now.”

“I need to see it though,” he insists. “Is this good? Am I done?” He holds up his t-chart. I’m still kneeling in front of X-Factor girl as she absentmindedly traces the already-drawn circles on her paper.

“Ms. D,” another student shouts from across the room. “Can I stay after class and see my grade too?”

It’s been 1 minute.

1:01pm. We have 4 minutes in between classes and the bell has just rung to mark the end of 7th period. My 8th period class is honors-level and they are preparing for a debate. I need to move the desks from their standard position in rows to 2 large groups before too many students file in. I start in the back and manage to get 2 desks flipped around.

A girl runs in who should have been in my 7th period class but wasn’t. “I came to say bye, Ms. D. I’m not gonna be here anymore.” She’s standing by my desk at the front of the room.

“What?” I ask, not fully processing what she’s said.

“I’m not coming back,” she repeats.

I walk up to my desk. My 8th period has started to file in. “Guys, if you could group the desks into your 2 teams, please,” flitting my hand at them since I’ve been pulled aside.

“My foster mom kicked me out and I’m going to a homeless shelter,” the student continues. “I can’t go to this school from there.”

A student I advise in NHS comes in. “Ms. D, I need to see the papers I gave you earlier today- I think I stapled something to them that I wasn’t supposed to.”

I reach for the file of papers that I had put hers in earlier that day. “You can’t come to CHS still while you’re at the homeless shelter?” I’m flipping through the pages.

“No,” the homeless student says. “Ms. M says I can’t until I’m placed, then maybe I can get transportation.”

I hand the papers to the NHS student that she’s requested. “I need you to sign these- they’re from the donation drive,” she says. I put them on my desk and sign quickly, looking over them to make sure they are what she says they are.

I turn to the homeless student again, not sure even what to say. “Do you have paper? Will you keep in touch? Call me if you need anything? Please?” I write down my phone number for her.

NHS girl waves a paper in front of my face. “Do you need this to verify my hours?” I shake my head.

“Ms. D, I have a question!” calls a student from across the room. I walk over.

The bell rings for 8th period to begin. I turn around and the homeless girl has disappeared; I didn’t even get to truly say goodbye.

It’s been 4 minutes.

1:20pm. My honors students are in their teams, preparing for their debate. There was tension in this class yesterday; the teammates weren’t getting along well. One of my students approached me in the morning saying she felt as if her team was not taking her comments seriously.

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A very poignant account of what it means to be a teacher. We’d all do well to remember that just like every job, it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Every job has misconceptions, but the “teaching is easy, you get off at 3 and you get summers off and holidays there’s nothing to it” one seems to be passed around a LOT.

Teaching Using Portal 2

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 09:08:16 -0800

Teaching Using Portal 2:

I absolutely love it when teachers do things like this. SO much more engaging than your standard textbook and a great supplement (how many kids would rather do this than filling in a worksheet?) to learning physics/math!

Photo

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 17:21:45 -0700

iD Tech 2012

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 21:45:48 -0700

Having the time of my life! Wish you were here! :)

Just keep swimming

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 18:40:10 -0700

Been a long time since I got a chance to post. I I’ve just been really busy these last few days. Studying for the GRE (love you, math, but I’m so terrible at you), getting ready for iD Tech (cannot wait!) and trying to do some big things at work.

It’s been tiring. Kinda fun. But certainly tiring. I’ve been doing more “advanced” things lately at work, like custom coding scripts in Excel and stuff like that. Trying to do as much problem solving as I can, trying to become as comfortable as I can with the idea of coding a solution. Being able to think through a problem and find a way to solve it.

After all, if I want to go back to school, get my Masters in Computer Science and work for Apple, I need to get my but in gear. I need as much practice as I can get.

Computer science doesn’t come naturally for me. But I love it. Much like math. So I’m going to keep at it. I’m going to get this degree. Hopefully I live through the process. :-).

Keep the faith, y’all (I mean in yourselves…though if you want to keep the faith in me, that’s fine too) :-)

Made with Paper

Tue, 08 May 2012 17:29:00 -0700

Made with Paper

Mon, 07 May 2012 14:10:25 -0700

Made with Paper

To Dream the Impossible

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 08:10:00 -0700

A poem that popped into my head this morning on the bus - I had to write it down. I am inspired like this so very little these days. I call it To Dream the Impossible.

Opening your heart halfway
For that which cannot be.
How silly it seems
To dream of things
Whose sheen does but deceive.
But logic matters little to the heart
When it believes.

Some days...

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:19:00 -0700

The path to my dream of working at Apple seems so, SO far away :-(.

Disney + Pokémon! Awesome!

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 17:13:05 -0700

Disney + Pokémon! Awesome!

…Somewhere out there/ Out where dreams come true. (Credit...

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 06:51:35 -0800

…Somewhere out there/
Out where dreams come true.

(Credit to Spirit-of-Twilight on deviantArt)

A wonderful piece on what it's like when one of your students loses a family member

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 06:39:12 -0800

A wonderful piece on what it's like when one of your students loses a family member:

This is what they don’t tell you about in teaching, and no one seems to understand that. Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they DO teach how to deal with a student who’s brother is murdered. Maybe I just missed that in my accellerated and seemingly noble attempt to remake education. Perhaps when you actually take classes for your credential, you learn this stuff - as opposed to simply fast-tracking your way into a classroom because they so desperately need science and math teachers.

I used to feel like I was a good writer. Lately I’m not sure anymore. But I’ve never been able to capture my thoughts about teaching in any sort of elegant manor. It always comes out awkward. Incomplete. Borderline incoherent. Rants and raves and sobs and screaming. Fluctuating between never wanting to return and dropping everything just to try one more time.

This story seems to capture what I can’t. The work that you do outside of teaching the subject matter is what really, REALLY matters.

Shortcut to your last saved draft email on iOS

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:31:46 -0800

Shortcut to your last saved draft email on iOS:

Cool little shortcut! I learn something new every day :-)

(Thanks to Daring Fireball for the heads up.)

How things have changed....

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:39:04 -0800

How things have changed....:

My favorite part from this review of an old Motorola phone? The old Motorola battery is significantly thicker than the WHOLE iPhone. Just wow.

Thinking different :)

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:33:07 -0800

Thinking different :)

The hardest thing for me to do is saying no...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 08:15:00 -0800

The hardest thing for me to do is saying no...:

If there’s anything that makes me feel guilty to no end, it’s saying no. I’m horrible at it, in probably every sense of the word (except for the quite literal SAYING of the word “no”). :-).

I hate telling someone they can’t do something. Or that I can’t do something. No matter how rational the reason, it tears me up inside most of the time. Even if it’s something that I don’t want to do, saying no always makes me feel guilty.

I think it’s because I have this thing with wanting everyone in the world to like me. I always feel like if I’m saying no to someone, that person is going to resent me, or be unhappy with me, or something like that. And I know that’s unavoidable. No one is liked all the time. People are going to be unhappy with you. But it still hurts. And I’m terribly insecure.

Is your original iPhone as durable as mine?

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:53:57 -0800

I got an iPhone when they first came out - and it was absolutely amazing. Previous to that, the only cell-phone I had ever owned was one of those Tracphones (are they still around?) - you know, where you got a ridiculously cheap phone and you purchased minutes? And the thing that I thought was awesome was that you could SEE the number of minutes remaining.

Yeah. Good ol’ 2005 :-)

Up until the iPhone, I didn’t really understand the whole “phone” thing (and I still don’t really). Like, I had friends who were totally into buying phones like I buy video games. It was like, “let’s see who has the best phone!” and “my phone can do x and y”. I didn’t get it at all. I mean, it’s a PHONE. Who cares what it can do. And then I saw the iPhone.

But I’m digressing. I was sitting in the restroom and my phone buzzed, letting me know that I had a new email. I pulled it out , checked some link and really took a look at the phone. It’s about 5 years old now. It’s been handled by over like 200 kids. The phone has been dropped around 30 or more times roughly.

But the thing still works. Pretty well too! I mean, I finally managed to crack the screen pretty badly by dropping it on a solid rock kitchen floor, but it still works!

I’m kinda in awe :-). I quite literally threw the phone across the interior of my dad’s car when I was mad one day and it slammed into the passenger door. I have banged the phone against a metal street sign because I was angry with the volume buttons freaking out. And still it works, broken screen and all. I don’t use it as a phone anymore (don’t really have a cell phone now), but I still listen to music on it, download and play games, and surf the Internet. And still it works!

Admittedly, there is tape over the screen (pieces of glass in your finger are not cool), but pinching, zooming, scrolling - all that is just fine.

To me, that’s how electronics should be :-).

Oh look, I'm writing again!

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 08:36:50 -0800

Wow, I’ve actually managed to have my mind coherently link some thoughts together! Sure, they’re just notes that at or may not be assembled into a story one day. But it’s a start.

It feels like its been FOREVER since I’ve been able to mold my thoughts into something written that doesn’t feel like doggie poo.

A Week without Electronics

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:29:03 -0800

So one of my friends was given a choice last week by his parents. It was either no electronics for a week or give up piano for good (I guess he wasn’t spending enough time with piano).

My friend gave up electronics (a good choice, cause he’s good at piano and he really likes it). But he was pretty sad about it. So I decided to try and be a good friend and give up electronics too. Well, as much as possible (meaning that we could still use electronics for emergencies or school/work related tasks).

Surprisingly, last week didn’t go nearly as bad as I thought it was going to. I spent much of the time reading. I was able to focus better at work (if you’re using a computer, you can only do work or other necessary tasks - no visiting favorite leisure sites!). I started to carry around my notebook again to sketch stuff and write down my crazy ideas.

I thought that I’d miss the games and leisure reading on the Internet the most. Turns out the games weren’t missed all that much :). It was mainly the leisure reading. And being able to draw/write something on my iPad. I did miss that a lot.

There were a few “cheating” moments - like I had to respond to a friends IM. Or phone calls. My friend and I had agreed on 30 min of phone time a day (that’s what he got), but for me it was much harder. I tried to limit it, yes. But I get quite a few communications a day, be it email or IM or phone calls. That part didn’t work out so well and I ended going over my 30 minutes by quite a lot :-)

The week is over and the electronics are back, but I have to say, I kind of enjoyed the challenge :-). Glad to be back with my iPad though for sure :-D

How weird it would be...

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 17:28:31 -0800

Anyone else have those strange delusions of grandeur? I know I do :-) I wonder what would happen if I suddenly find my place and calling? What will happen when I find that one thing that I’m so in love with doing that I will do it until I transform the world ?

Performing. Software development. Kids. Science. I’m almost there. I’m going to figure it out. I just don’t know how long it’s going to take. :-)